and i listen to every word.
why am i even fucking listening anymore?
and im too fucked up to fix it.
why am i even fucking trying anymore?
Saturday, February 26, 2011
fuck.
im fucked up. i am a fucked up version of her. i was her last semester, last summer. and every word shes saying. i see myself in. the branches look like veins. i said that to you a week ago. i did. the branches arching upwards, as if theyre trying to scrape the sky. their source of life flows from the roots up to the bark on the tips of their branches. so so many feet above the ground. the veins and the arteries carrying deoxygenated and oxygenated blood. our source of life. from the tips of our toes and back to our worn and tattered hearts. i said that to you. in so many words. its like a life force or something. she says. in so many words. and you say how you like that idea.
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I try to ask myself the same question-why do I keep trying? The decisions I've currently been making are turning me into those that I usually despise. I feel like I'm losing my self to the unknown, letting things be without attempting to fix it.
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