you hate your pulse because it thinks you’re still alive.

i dont even know anymore.

(thats the thing.)
whether im happy or sad.
whether i miss you or im fine.
i know i feel alone.

but i dont even know if im feeling.

ill know im feeling if i hear myself cry.
ill know im awake if i taste the smoke on my teeth.
ill know im not alone if i feel you touch me.
but who are you?
i dont know.

i know i feel alone.
but i dont even know if im unhappy.
(thats the thing.)